As I sat here in the hospital room with my mother-in-law and and family a few minutes ago, I took a moment to check my e-mail. To my surprise, I discovered that at least one person is still reading this blog. Unfortunately, you have chosen to keep your identity "anonymous."
But whoever you are, if you're still reading, I want you to understand (though I rejected your comment and it will not show up on my former post) my understanding of God and prayer.
I do NOT in any way "blame disease or government incompetence on not praying enough or properly" (in your words). I do NOT subscribe to ANY understanding of God or God's work in the world that DOES blame terrible things on "not praying enough or properly." To do so would NOT make me feel better, and would indicate that I believe in a God not of wholeness, peace, and grace, but of terror.
Instead, what I believe about prayer and God is this:
Prayer is a gift that invites us into, and allows us to maintain, relationship with the God whose will and work are always for our wholeness and peace, and for justice and peace in the world.
True prayer is the equivalent of open, full, and honest communication between a parent and child, or two lovers.
The God I worship is all-loving and wants to be in real relationship with us.
The God I worship did NOT create chaos, disease, division, or government incompetence. That all came from somewhere else.
The God I worship has overcome the power of all of that life-stealing stuff through the self-giving of Christ (who himself was God become flesh out of love for us, to share humanness with us and offer us life eternal in and with God).
Through the gift of prayer, the God I worship reveals healing and resurrection in powerful ways to God's children.
The God I worship will ultimately eliminate all of the life-stealing stuff in the world and make all things right and whole forever. Though I can't explain why that hasn't already happened, I know that God touches us even in the midst of pain to bring wholeness and peace, and I am thankful for that. I do continue to pray for the day of peace and wholeness, and redemption of all creation, to quickly come.
And by the way,
my mother-in-law is now actively dying. Her death will release her from pain and bring her a peace she has not known in some time. And if the government had worked the way it was originally "supposed to" according to our human plan, we wouldn't be able to be here now...we'd be in Russia instead.
So perhaps, in God's mysterious love, this holy time was protected for us to be HERE NOW...even maybe through some "government incompetence." Who knows? I just embrace the mystery and praise God that I can feel the mystery of divine grace.
I also pray that you, and all of the children God created, can also one day feel that mysterious grace. There's nothing more beautiful, or life-giving.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
My Prayers
There is so much pain in the world, all the time.
But sometimes the deep pain touches closer to home than others.
RIGHT NOW, my mother-in-law is lying in a hospital room in the cancer center of a major regional hospital. This past Friday, she became unresponsive right in front of my eyes, the eyes of my husband, and the eyes of our five-year-old son. Though she is now out of that particular area of the woods, she is very tired of fighting a 4-and-a-half-year battle with an uncurable disease. But she's only 62 years old, and she needs to see her grandchildren all graduate from high school and college!
RIGHT NOW, our second son (who will turn 3 on October 4) is waiting for us to return for him. He is in a "baby house" in Russia with 89 or so other children under the age of four. He has a picture book of our family, a toy phone to "call us" on, and the promises of his caregivers that we are coming back for him. But we can't get to him, because the U.S. government (Citizenship and Immigration Services) has declared that they have until the end of July to process our application and issue their approval for us to adopt this child. They've also said that there's nothing we can do to speed that process up, even though we first submitted our application to them in December. And all we want is to go to Russia and pick up our child, love on him, introduce him to his big brother, and bring him home. RIGHT NOW.
RIGHT NOW, my sister in Christ, friend, and clergy colleague Narcie (a 30-year-old campus minister, wife, daughter, sister, and mother to a 1.5-year-old and a just-now-3-year old) is preparing to have brain surgery to remove a tumor that was found a week and a half ago. She will go in for this surgery on Friday.
You can read Narcie's journey, and share your prayers with her and her father, by following their blogs here and here. I hope you will join me in praying for them.
These, among a few other painful situations for those I know and love, are the soil from which most of my prayers are growing right now.
Or maybe the word is not growing, but "groaning," which is (I believe) one way of interpreting what the Holy Spirit does within us since, or when, we "don't know how to pray as we ought." Come to think of it, there's a lot of stuff I need to hear in Romans 8, which is a passage another dear friend of mine from divinity school used to pray in its entirety, from memory, when her Chron's Disease or Multiple Sclerosis would have her doubled over in pain.
It seems like there's a lot of stuff from Paul in that particular part of that particular letter about suffering and "waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies." And there's something else about groaning in labor pains while we wait for the revealing of glory and God's children in there, too, isn't there? Perhaps I'll go read Romans 8 one more time. Maybe you'll join me in that, and in prayer...
But sometimes the deep pain touches closer to home than others.
RIGHT NOW, my mother-in-law is lying in a hospital room in the cancer center of a major regional hospital. This past Friday, she became unresponsive right in front of my eyes, the eyes of my husband, and the eyes of our five-year-old son. Though she is now out of that particular area of the woods, she is very tired of fighting a 4-and-a-half-year battle with an uncurable disease. But she's only 62 years old, and she needs to see her grandchildren all graduate from high school and college!
RIGHT NOW, our second son (who will turn 3 on October 4) is waiting for us to return for him. He is in a "baby house" in Russia with 89 or so other children under the age of four. He has a picture book of our family, a toy phone to "call us" on, and the promises of his caregivers that we are coming back for him. But we can't get to him, because the U.S. government (Citizenship and Immigration Services) has declared that they have until the end of July to process our application and issue their approval for us to adopt this child. They've also said that there's nothing we can do to speed that process up, even though we first submitted our application to them in December. And all we want is to go to Russia and pick up our child, love on him, introduce him to his big brother, and bring him home. RIGHT NOW.
RIGHT NOW, my sister in Christ, friend, and clergy colleague Narcie (a 30-year-old campus minister, wife, daughter, sister, and mother to a 1.5-year-old and a just-now-3-year old) is preparing to have brain surgery to remove a tumor that was found a week and a half ago. She will go in for this surgery on Friday.
You can read Narcie's journey, and share your prayers with her and her father, by following their blogs here and here. I hope you will join me in praying for them.
These, among a few other painful situations for those I know and love, are the soil from which most of my prayers are growing right now.
Or maybe the word is not growing, but "groaning," which is (I believe) one way of interpreting what the Holy Spirit does within us since, or when, we "don't know how to pray as we ought." Come to think of it, there's a lot of stuff I need to hear in Romans 8, which is a passage another dear friend of mine from divinity school used to pray in its entirety, from memory, when her Chron's Disease or Multiple Sclerosis would have her doubled over in pain.
It seems like there's a lot of stuff from Paul in that particular part of that particular letter about suffering and "waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies." And there's something else about groaning in labor pains while we wait for the revealing of glory and God's children in there, too, isn't there? Perhaps I'll go read Romans 8 one more time. Maybe you'll join me in that, and in prayer...
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
"We Are the Truth"
As you know, we are trying to adopt.
We are trying to adopt, ironically (considering international news of the past week) a little boy named Artyom from Russia. He is not 7, but 2 1/2. We consider him to already be our son, and we are very concerned that our process may be interrupted by this horrible action committed last week by a woman in Tennessee.
If you'd like to be a part of advocating for continued international adoption, which I sincerely believe is a movement of the Holy Spirit in the world, and/or you have an adoption story to share with the world, please consider this "Call to Action" from the Joint Council on International Children's Services.
Please click here and read how from a fellow adoptive parent:
Call to Action
We are trying to adopt, ironically (considering international news of the past week) a little boy named Artyom from Russia. He is not 7, but 2 1/2. We consider him to already be our son, and we are very concerned that our process may be interrupted by this horrible action committed last week by a woman in Tennessee.
If you'd like to be a part of advocating for continued international adoption, which I sincerely believe is a movement of the Holy Spirit in the world, and/or you have an adoption story to share with the world, please consider this "Call to Action" from the Joint Council on International Children's Services.
Please click here and read how from a fellow adoptive parent:
Call to Action
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Gods Heart: Adoption
Why we're doing what we're doing...
Pray for us and for our new child!
We're headed across the ocean to meet him next week!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Kids say the darndest things
I absolutely love to hear a four- or five-year-old talk.
They can be so adorable and funny. Yes, even mine.
We were lying in the bed the other night, after bath and stories, listening to the first songs on "Jed's" lullaby CD. After the first two songs, I leave the room.
Usually, we don't talk. We just say our prayer and then "try to go to sleep."
But this time, "Jed" had a question. He'd been watching the Disney Channel, and had seen a preview for the new teen movie Starstruck. He wanted to know about it. But I didn't know anything. So our conversation went like this, when he spoke with his sweet soft voice into the darkness.
Mommy, why is Starstruck a big-kid movie?
Buddy, I don't know. I don't even know what that is.
It's a new show on Disney Channel. Why is it for big kids?
Buddy, I told you, I don't know. I don't know anything about the show. We'll talk about it in the morning. Just go to sleep now.
-Brief silence, while I think I know what he's thinking, then-
It's not like a star that got struck by lightning, Mommy.
It's just the name of the show.
Yep, that's exactly where I thought his mind had gone. I guess a Mommy knows her little boy and how he thinks.
Just like God knows God's little children and how they think. Kinda scary, and really comforting.
They can be so adorable and funny. Yes, even mine.
We were lying in the bed the other night, after bath and stories, listening to the first songs on "Jed's" lullaby CD. After the first two songs, I leave the room.
Usually, we don't talk. We just say our prayer and then "try to go to sleep."
But this time, "Jed" had a question. He'd been watching the Disney Channel, and had seen a preview for the new teen movie Starstruck. He wanted to know about it. But I didn't know anything. So our conversation went like this, when he spoke with his sweet soft voice into the darkness.
Mommy, why is Starstruck a big-kid movie?
Buddy, I don't know. I don't even know what that is.
It's a new show on Disney Channel. Why is it for big kids?
Buddy, I told you, I don't know. I don't know anything about the show. We'll talk about it in the morning. Just go to sleep now.
-Brief silence, while I think I know what he's thinking, then-
It's not like a star that got struck by lightning, Mommy.
It's just the name of the show.
Yep, that's exactly where I thought his mind had gone. I guess a Mommy knows her little boy and how he thinks.
Just like God knows God's little children and how they think. Kinda scary, and really comforting.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
The Wreck
The other day I got a bill in the mail from the SC Department of Transportation. My husband had told me that it would probably eventually arrive, but even he began to doubt after this long. It seems that when you damage state property on the interstate (namely, the cable barrier in the median), you are responsible for paying.
You see, on October 24 (over 3 months ago now), I had a wreck. "Jed" and I were on our way to Greenville to celebrate the birthday of one of his little friends, the son of one of my best friends. As we made our way (yes, probably too quickly) up the interstate, a series of events ensued. The chain reaction started with my reaching into the back seat to get "Jed's" cup and ended with our car facing incoming traffic from the median, caught in the cable barrier between the north- and south-bound lanes. When it was all over, the passenger-side-curtain airbag had deployed, the interstate barrier cable had smashed the back window in on that same side (right beside my son) and "Jed" had a teeny scratch down his right arm, from the
"Jed" was a jewel and a trooper through the whole thing. He said,
"I wasn't even scared when the car went all wiggly; I just was like 'Whoa! What's goin' on here?'"
He also kept saying,
"I'm sorry you broke your car, Mommy. I really liked your car. I know you liked your car."
When I would tell him how sorry I was that I messed up driving and he was going to miss his friend's birthday party, he would just say
"It's OK, Mommy. It's OK."
In the face of my little boy that day, I saw the face of Jesus.
I also knew God's Spirit at work in some miracles and gifts, like:
+ Somehow, our car wasn't hit by another car as it swerved all over the two lanes of the interstate totally out of my control.
+ Somehow, our car didn't slam into another car as it swerved all over the two lanes of the interstate totally out of my control.
+ The two nicest young guys in a pick-up behind us (who had seen the whole thing) stopped to check on us, got "Jed" out of the back seat, and waited with us until the first responders came.
+ The officer that responded to the accident had a preschooler and thus a carseat in the back of his vehicle, and he offered to drive us to meet my mother (who was the first family member I could reach to come meet us, and who dropped everything to come)at a gas station 20 minutes away from the accident.
+ That same officer let me pile all my stuff (the car was loaded down) into his vehicle, and then helped us get it in my mother's car.
+ My mother drove us on up to Greenville to where the party was, and all the kids were still there and still in their costumes. "Jed" got to play with his friend on his birthday after all, and I got to see my good friends.
+ And, not least, neither of us were hurt in any way (with the exception of that teeny scratch on "Jed's" arm.
So, God showed up in some amazing ways, and I took a few weeks (during which I borrowed my Lay Leader's Jeep--thanks, Ken!) to discern what I should do for a new vehicle. Of course, they had totaled my beautiful 2-year-old Hybrid Civic. Ugh.
I do like my new car, though. It's just that the gas mileage isn't QUITE as good--only 32 MPG :-) (The hybrid got about 45).
All this was just brought back by that LARGE bill from SCDOT. I realized that I'd never shared the story. I'm remembering the good gifts. And I'm thanking God yet again for yet one more gift: GOOD CAR INSURANCE.
You see, on October 24 (over 3 months ago now), I had a wreck. "Jed" and I were on our way to Greenville to celebrate the birthday of one of his little friends, the son of one of my best friends. As we made our way (yes, probably too quickly) up the interstate, a series of events ensued. The chain reaction started with my reaching into the back seat to get "Jed's" cup and ended with our car facing incoming traffic from the median, caught in the cable barrier between the north- and south-bound lanes. When it was all over, the passenger-side-curtain airbag had deployed, the interstate barrier cable had smashed the back window in on that same side (right beside my son) and "Jed" had a teeny scratch down his right arm, from the
"Jed" was a jewel and a trooper through the whole thing. He said,
"I wasn't even scared when the car went all wiggly; I just was like 'Whoa! What's goin' on here?'"
He also kept saying,
"I'm sorry you broke your car, Mommy. I really liked your car. I know you liked your car."
When I would tell him how sorry I was that I messed up driving and he was going to miss his friend's birthday party, he would just say
"It's OK, Mommy. It's OK."
In the face of my little boy that day, I saw the face of Jesus.
I also knew God's Spirit at work in some miracles and gifts, like:
+ Somehow, our car wasn't hit by another car as it swerved all over the two lanes of the interstate totally out of my control.
+ Somehow, our car didn't slam into another car as it swerved all over the two lanes of the interstate totally out of my control.
+ The two nicest young guys in a pick-up behind us (who had seen the whole thing) stopped to check on us, got "Jed" out of the back seat, and waited with us until the first responders came.
+ The officer that responded to the accident had a preschooler and thus a carseat in the back of his vehicle, and he offered to drive us to meet my mother (who was the first family member I could reach to come meet us, and who dropped everything to come)at a gas station 20 minutes away from the accident.
+ That same officer let me pile all my stuff (the car was loaded down) into his vehicle, and then helped us get it in my mother's car.
+ My mother drove us on up to Greenville to where the party was, and all the kids were still there and still in their costumes. "Jed" got to play with his friend on his birthday after all, and I got to see my good friends.
+ And, not least, neither of us were hurt in any way (with the exception of that teeny scratch on "Jed's" arm.
So, God showed up in some amazing ways, and I took a few weeks (during which I borrowed my Lay Leader's Jeep--thanks, Ken!) to discern what I should do for a new vehicle. Of course, they had totaled my beautiful 2-year-old Hybrid Civic. Ugh.
I do like my new car, though. It's just that the gas mileage isn't QUITE as good--only 32 MPG :-) (The hybrid got about 45).
All this was just brought back by that LARGE bill from SCDOT. I realized that I'd never shared the story. I'm remembering the good gifts. And I'm thanking God yet again for yet one more gift: GOOD CAR INSURANCE.
Friday, January 22, 2010
New Blog
I just posted for the first time on a second blog that I've just begun.
The other blog will be open to invited readers only, and will chronicle a new journey our family has begun. We are following what we believe to be the call of God into adoption.
If you would like to be invited to follow our journey on the new blog, please send an e-mail request to preacherkristen@yahoo.com.
Whether you read along with my other blog or not, though, please join our family in prayer for the child we hope to adopt, and for God's guidance and provision through this process.
Thank you!
The other blog will be open to invited readers only, and will chronicle a new journey our family has begun. We are following what we believe to be the call of God into adoption.
If you would like to be invited to follow our journey on the new blog, please send an e-mail request to preacherkristen@yahoo.com.
Whether you read along with my other blog or not, though, please join our family in prayer for the child we hope to adopt, and for God's guidance and provision through this process.
Thank you!
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