My Christmas Gift to You

3 Priceless "Jedisms", all from one day--today:

1. Today my sister-in-law took her kids and "Jed" to see Santa. When my son told Santa that he wanted a chainsaw, a pitchfork, and a camera for Christmas, Santa responded with perplexity, as many people do. He remarked to "Jed": "Wow! A chainsaw? Well, I guess you want to be a lumberjack when you grow up!"

To which my son said, in his thick southern accent:

"I didn't say nuthin' 'bout bein' a lumberjack! I just said I wanted a chainsaw!"

2. Sitting at dinner, with my sister, her husband, and our parents, "Jed" was drinking from an orange Halloween cup with black bats on it. My mother said "You've got a Halloween cup!"

My son replied:
"Yep. It has bats on it. Bats are good because they eat mosquitos that suck your blood."

As we were laughing at that, my brother-in-law (who works in pest control) said: "I can show you how to catch bats so you can have one to take to school for show and tell."

And then, from "Jed," the priceless and sarcastic response of a not-yet-four-year-old:
"Well, congratulations, Jeremy. Congratulations."

3. Last, but not least: As he was going to the tub for his bath, where he plays as I type, he got excited about the toys he could play with. So he exclaimed:
"Holy mackerel with cheese on top!"

WHERE DOES HE GET THIS STUFF?